Not So Subtle Hints
by Not Any Ordinary Psycho
Summary: Mandy finds herself experiencing things she's never dealt with before. But when she discovers she has feelings for a man who is already taken, she decides to give him a taste of his own medicine...
1. The Whole Story?

_Disclaimer:__** Once upon a time there was a narrator who took it upon herself to screw up every story she could get her hands on. With complete and utter disregard for the opinions of others, authors and fans alike, she made it her mission to corrupt any good plot line or character development she had the means to. With the help of her tech-savvy computer and her skills of destroying anything she put her mind to, she quickly set to work on annoying the crap out of everybody. These are her stories.**_

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><p>Mandy stared lovingly into Billy's eyes. "There's something I've got to say," she began in a mesmerized voice, "You're always with me even when you're far away. Talking to you on my cell," she smiled, her eyes going misty with fantasies, "Just the sound of your voice makes my heart melt. Oh, Billy, it's true. I'm all about you."<p>

Billy's tongue slid idly out of his mouth, coming to rest on his chin. "Duh, did you say something, Mandy?"

Mandy giggled sweetly. "Oh, darling, you are so funny! Pretending you didn't hear me confess my undying feelings for you. I just love the way you are."

Billy's brow furrowed. "Uh, Mandy? Are you okay?"

She giggled sweetly again, her perfect smile touching her eyes so beautifully. "Of course I'm okay. I'm with you, and nothing could make me happier."

Billy stared at her for a full minute, then jumped up in excitement and ran to the kitchen. "PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE PIE!"

Mandy hopped out of her seat and followed him slowly, a glazed-over look in her eyes as tiny pink hearts popped continuously around her face.

Billy shoved his face into a freshly-baked pie as his mother sat it on the table. He lifted his head, screaming in pain as the blue goo scalded his face. Then he licked it off and continued to eat the remaining pie in the same, repetitive fashion. After he had finished, Mandy wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to her chest in an affectionate hug.

"Hey, what's going on here?" Billy cried, "Has the narrator completely lost her mind? This is so not canon!"

"PRECISELY!" An evil voice cackled, followed by a demonic, "MWAHAHA!"

Just then, the Grim Reaper burst through the kitchen door, eyes quite literally flaming. "MINE!" he bellowed, jabbing the pole of his scythe between the two tweens and forcing them apart.

"Grim!" Billy yelled happily, "Boy, am I glad to see you."

Ignoring the boy, Grim grabbed Mandy by the shoulders, forcing her to focus on him. "I thought you said you loved me!" he cried, grasping her in his bony hands.

"Not anymore," she said matter-of-factly, "You just couldn't give up your feelings for Boogie, so I moved on."

Grim's boney jaw flapped. "What he and I had was nothing compared to what I feel for you. Please, I'm begging you, please please! Come back to me."

Mandy looked him full in the eye sockets, tears beginning to form in her own. She burst into tears, throwing her arms around him in a heartfelt embrace. "Oh, I could never stay mad at you. I love you so so much. I'll never leave you again. Never!" They promptly began making out.

Billy's eyes widened in horror. "Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Then he shouted at the ceiling, "Hey, this is a kids' show! What do you think you're doing?"

The narrator, in reply, suddenly sent Jeff the spider walking onto the scene.

"Mi amore," Jeff said in a Russian accent, embracing Billy's mom, and they began smooching.

Billy screamed in horror, his eyes and tongue shooting out of his face, and he fled the scene.

"Heheh," the narrator chuckled evilly, "Your mom is making out with your son."

Caught up in the heat of passion, Grim scooped Mandy up in his arms and tore a portal in the wall, jumping swiftly through it.

Somewhere, off in the distance, a dog barked.

The End


	2. The Story That Wasn't Supposed To Be

**A/N: Going against every writing parameter I have set up for this account, I have decided to grace the viewing audience with an unheard of second installment of this story. Since the "Completed" tag at the bottom of the story didn't deter you from wanting more, I will humbly bestow it on you. No, I'm not really this full of myself: I am just bored. So, without much further ado, the continuing story…**

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><p>A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, a chipmunk laid an egg. That egg exploded, taking out half the universe with it. Thus, the Power Puff Girls were born –<p>

"Hey! You're on the wrong show, bonehead!" Mandy yelled, suddenly appearing on the black screen.

The narrator ruffles some papers. "Stupid type writer never labels anything right. Here they are." Alright, from the top.

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><p>It was a bright, rainy day. The drab clouds overhead were having a passionate quarrel with the scorching sun. Alone in the street devoid of cars was a soaked, red-haired child with a nose the size of a basketball. A nose which was pressed firmly into the fold of a large book.<p>

"_Et puellae habitant in laetam. Et fin. _Oh, I do love me a good story. This incorrigible town does not have a library big enough to satiate my thirst for knowledge. How I do long to leave this dreary town," the red-head thought aloud.

His nose still buried in the book, he walked right past a young blonde who was standing on the sidewalk glaring at him. She scowled in irritation when he continued past her. "Billy! What are you doing?"

"Hm? Oh sorry, Amanda. I was thoroughly spellbound by this novel I am reading. Please accept my humblest apology." Then he dove back into his book.

Mandy's eyebrow jutted so severely that it very nearly left her face entirely. She was so awestruck, in fact, that she didn't notice a tall, dark figure come up behind her until it wrapped its arms around her waist and hoisted her into the air, squeezing her tightly.

"Agh!" she cried out, flailing her limbs. "Let go of me," she demanded, sending all available appendages flying back at the oppressor.

"Calm down, child. I was only hugging you."

"Grim? What are you doing? You know I hate hugs. I'll have your head over this."

"You can have it, my sweet. Everything I am belongs to you."

She freed herself from his arms at last. "Have you lost what little mind you had? You're acting weirder than usual."

"You can't judge a man in love. He thinks differently than other men."

"In love? With whom?"

"My dear, you, of course."

Mandy jerked back. "What? When did this happen?"

"Last chapter. Don't you remember? Don't tell me you forgot our love already. Boogie never forgot our love."

"You're playing a trick on me. That's it. Stop it right now."

"You don't have to take my word for it. I've got evidence." Grim pulled out an iPad.33 and scrolled down the screen, then handed it to Mandy. "See for yourself."

Mandy took the tablet. "'Not Any Ordinary Psycho'? He sounds like a liar to me."

"Hey!" the narrator protested, "I am not a man! How dare you fail to recognize my superior gender! And I'm not a liar, either."

"Where is that voice coming from?" Mandy asked, searching the sky and blinking as the rain persisted.

"That's the narrator. She decides our fate, so don't annoy her."

"Skip to the end of the story," the narrator instructed, "You'll hate it."

Mandy returned her focus to the fanfic. Her scowl deepened as she read. "What is this crap? This didn't actually happen."

"Oh, but it did, Mandy." The narrator explained, "See, you're in my world now, and my world likes happy couples. Happy, naïve, passionate couples. Like it or not, you and Grim are an item now. You sealed the deal with a kiss in the first chapter."

"But I don't remember that. I mean, I do, but it was a dream. It didn't actually happen."

"Yes it did. In my world, I control you. You do as I dictate no exceptions. And my M. O. demands that certain details happen in each story. No story can break protocol."

"Details like what?"

"Can't tell you that. It's so much more fun to keep the reader guessing."

Mandy balled her hands into fists, "Tell me, or I'll – "

"You'll what? I'm untouchable. I'm only a voice. You can't possibly harm me. You don't even know where I live."

"I know your IP address," Grim said.

Mandy grabbed a fistful of his robe and pulled his face level to hers. "Tell me, Grim. I have to know."

"Don't do it, Grim," the narrator commanded, "She's done nothing for you. I can give you so much more."

"All I want is your love, Mandy ," he announced.

Mandy scowled harder. "How 'bout instead I let Saliva gnaw on your bones for a while?"

"I'll make you a deal, Mandy. You agree to be my girlfriend – and you have to act the part, convince me that you want me – and if I am satisfied with your behavior at the end of the week, I will give you the information you seek." He smiled mischievously.

"I don't make deals with boneheads."

"Then our friendship is void and I'm free." Grim tore a hole in the fabric of space and disappeared through it.

"Wait!" Mandy protested. She sighed in aggravation, "I'll agree to it. Just this once."

Grim reappeared, giggling girlishly. "Deal! And we will start now." He took her hand and tugged her down the street. "Now let's go to school and break the news to all our friends."

"We don't have any friends," Mandy said. "Wait, I forgot my backpack. Go get it."

"Delighted to! Backpack, backpack. Backpack, backpack. I'm the Backpack loaded up with things –"

"Shut up!" Mandy screamed.

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><p>When the school bus arrived, Mandy led the tall reaper up the stairs. Nonchalantly, he slipped his hand into hers. She glared back at him. "You promised," he reminded, wagging a white finger.<p>

Mandy huffed and grudgingly allowed it. They took their seats at the back of the bus next to Billy.

"Good morning, Amanda; Mr. Reaper. I trust you both had a happy night," Billy said.

"Okay, what is this? Why are you acting smart? You're not smart. You're an idiot, Billy."

Billy laughed, "Hoho, you are quite a vixen, you are. I have recently turned over a new leaf. I now hold knowledge in the highest regard. It has become my fuel. Now, let's away to school."

At school, the trio of outcasts shuffled silently into the dull building.

"This is a poorly written fanfic," Mandy sighed as she slouched in class.

"If you feel that way," the teacher said, "then I will need you to demonstrate a French kiss for the classroom."

"Kiss kiss kiss kiss!" the rowdy class chanted.

Mandy snarled, flinging her desk across the room, knocking out the teacher. "This is my story, Psycho! Understand? I control the action. I control the people. And I control my fate."

"Gee, Mandy," Mindy said sweetly, "You seem to be experiencing some sort of inner turmoil. If you want, you can join our therapy group, We meet at my house every Thursday. Drop by anytime."

"Quit acting nice!" Mandy snarled, shaking her roughly.

"Lay off her," Puddin demanded, shoving Mandy's hands aside. He glared intently at her, showing no sign of backing off.

"Puddin, you are a coward. Don't act like you have backbone. You're a spineless twerp."

"Your harsh language doesn't faze me anymore," Puddin replied, "The new narrator has fixed us all. All of us except for you. But you can be reborn. Just give in to the narrator."

"No! Never!"

"Join us," the kids chanted, approaching her with outstretched arms.

"No! NOOOOOO!" The crowd gobbled her up.

And in the shadows, a leaf was crushed by a foot.

End Part 2


	3. Escape Plan That Should Inevitably Fail

_Disclaimer: __**Once upon a time there was a narrator who took it upon herself to screw up every story she could get her hands on. With complete and utter disregard for the opinions of others, authors and fans alike, she made it her mission to corrupt any good plot line or character development she had the means to. With the help of her tech-savvy computer and her skills of destroying anything she put her mind to, she quickly set to work on annoying the crap out of everybody. These are her stories.**_

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><p>Long ago, an ancient game was played with virtual monsters. These Shadow Games killed many people inexplicably. Thousands of years later, an extremely short boy with freaky hair put a puzzle together, releasing the soul of a very powerful duelist. It's time to Duel!<p>

Papers ruffle. "Crap, not again. My bad, computer. Your stupid uncle mislabels everything."

Billy and Mandy fic, Take 2.

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><p>She awoke to the perpetual beeping that had stalked her in her dreams. The harsh, florescent lights overhead blinded her and her eyes fluttered open.<p>

"Where am I?" she choked out as her senses began to return to normal. She turned her head toward the door as a creature in a black robe entered, carrying a scythe. "Grim? You came to see me? That's so sweet of you. I knew you were a keeper." Mandy smiled.

"Uh, yeah. I wasn't comin' in to reap ya soul. I was jus' comin' in to check on ya." He leaned his scythe against the wall and sat on her bed.

"I had an awful dream. I dreamed I wasn't in love with you anymore, and that I wanted to hurt someone. How dreadful! But now that you're here, I think I'll be okay." She took his boney hand and squeezed it affectionately.

"You musta hit yo head real hard, child. You actin' weird. I'll go get a nurse." Grim began to stand.

"No, stay! I need you. Please don't leave me in my time of need." Mandy began to cry.

"No, no! Don't cry. I'll stay right here. Jus' calm down. We don't want da world to explode, now do we?"

"Oh heavens no! The world is so beautiful, I could never directly harm it. It would kill me." Her lip began to tremble again.

"Mandy, I really tink you need a doctor. Ya must have a concussion or sometin'. I neva seen ya dis… girly."

"The only medicine I need is your love, Grim. You can heal me better than any drugs could."

Grim's eyes widened. "Doctor!"

A bearded man in a white lab coat rushed into the room.

"Doctor, she's gone crazy!" Grim declared.

"Is this true, Mandy?" the doctor asked.

"He's being so mean to me," Mandy cried, bursting into tears.

"See? She would neva do dat on a normal day. She musta hit her head."

The doctor shook his head with a small smile. "Grim, my dear boy. She's not insane. She's experiencing the effects of our narrator's style. Our narrator must write her out-of-character. Haven't you realized it yet? This is the way things must be done, to ensure our well-being."

"Rules are rules, Grim," the narrator explained dismissively, "Things must be done as they always have been."

"Narrator?" Mandy asked, her voice breaking on the word.

"Yes, Mandy. I'm right here. Isn't it good to be one of us again?"

"Yes. I mean, no. I mean, I don't know." Mandy flinched and jerked in her bed. "I," her voice began to deepen, "have to get out of here."

"Sedate her. Quickly!" the narrator commanded the doctor.

"No. No!" She squirmed, but the doctor was too fast, and she passed out as soon as she was injected.

"What the – ?" Grim exclaimed.

"There are some things you wouldn't understand, Grim. Go home. We'll call you when she's better." The doctor escorted Grim out the door calmly.

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><p>The next morning, Grim woke up in a pink, full bed next to a warm body. He jerked reflexively as the body stirred and wrapped its arms around him. "Morning, sweetheart," she cooed.<p>

"Mandy? Why am I in your bed?"

She giggled groggily. "Because we slept together last night. Are you feeling okay? You seem confused."

"I don't remember gettin' in bed with you last night," he explained.

She shrugged. "It happens. Let's get ready for school. I'm looking forward to that lecture on the tectonics of the planet."

"Uh, sure, Mandy. If dat's what ya want." Grim gladly jumped out of bed and left the room to give Mandy her privacy. When she met him downstairs, Grim noticed a new accessory on her person. "What's dat on ya ankle?" Grim asked.

Mandy glanced down. "Oh, that's my lucky anklet. The doctors gave it to me. It's supposed to keep me stable. And it goes so well with my outfit."

Grim studied the anklet. It was black, bulky, and had a blinking red light that looked quite ominous even to the Reaper. He also noticed a protrusion linking it to her skin. He winced. "I guess it matches yo head band," he offered.

Mandy smiled, causing a puppy down the road to suddenly drop dead. She grabbed his hand enthusiastically, pulling him out the door. "Algebra is going to be swell, don't you think?"

"As long as we pay attention and don't kiss, I'll be da happiest student in da world."

"Oh, Grim, you silly goose!" Mandy giggled, pinching his cheek bone, "We have to kiss at least once a chapter."

"Is dat one a those rules da narrator was talkin' about?"

Mandy twitched at the mention of the narrator. The black anklet blinked thrice, and Mandy's smile returned full-force. "No, sweetie pea. It's just easier to attract fans if we do that. After all, our livelihood is fueled almost entirely by reviews from fans. The other 37% is fueled by our narrator's state of boredom at her job."

"Dis narrator chick sounds like a tool."

Mandy gasped. "Do not speak of the narrator in such a sacrilegious way. She has taken us out of a very dark age."

They joined Billy at the bus stop. Billy had a pocket knife and was picking his nails with it. "Hey, Mandy," he greeted her in a bored, deep voice, "Ready for school?"

"Of course, dear Billy Willy! I am delighted that we may participate in free educational programs. That's why Endsville is the best place in the universe."

"Mod, you're annoying," Billy groaned, pushing off the stop sign poll as the bus pulled to a halt in front of them.

"Oh, William! You have the funniest sense of humor!" Mandy gushed, refusing to relinquish Grim's hand as they sat.

"I wasn't going for funny. I was going for insulting. Can't you go one day without ruining my mood?"

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><p>By the time Algebra class rolled around, Grim was so thoroughly confused that he started craving wood varnish.<p>

Mindy leaned across the aisle and whispered to Billy, "The square root of 69 is eight-something, right?"

"I'll give you the exact number to four decimal places for 4 dollars," Billy said.

"But I don't have any money."

"No sweat, Mindy," Mandy said, pulling out $4 and handing it to Billy, "I've got you covered."

"Why don't ya jus' give her da answer yourself, Mandy?" Grim asked.

"Silly Grim!" Mandy giggled, "I can't possibly think about math when I'm busy fantasizing about you."

"Dat's it! I can't take anymore a dis nonsense. Mandy, we aren't in love. You neva liked me, an' ya certainly don't now. If I have ta hear one more compliment about how firm my bones are, I'm gonna open a portal right here 'n send all a ya to da underworld." Grim jumped out of his seat and bolted for the door.

But the kids blocked his exit, led by Puddin. "Where do you think you're going, Bonehead? You can't leave without the narrator's say-so."

"Screw da narrator! I'm da Grim Reaper, and I'm outta here." But before he could tear a hole in the space-time continuum, Billy knocked his scythe out of his hands and used it to slice open his wrists.

"This is a sacrifice for you, Mandy," Billy croaked as his voice began to fade, "Save us from the narrator." With a final choke of breath, he died.

"Billy? No!" Mandy clawed at her anklet, fighting the mind control therein. Grim took his scythe from Billy's bloody grasp and hacked the anklet to pieces.

"Take my hand, Mandy," he ordered, grabbing her and hugging her close, "We're going somewhere the narrator can't control us: the copyright page."

"Grim, don't you dare!" the narrator protested, but they had already escaped.

Please tune to channel 18 for further information.

End Part 3


	4. Copyright Page

**The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy**

Type of Work: Motion picture or filmstrip

Registration Number / Date: PA0001264469 / 2004-11-30

Date of Publication: July 16, 2004

Date of Creation: 2004

Title: The Grim adventures of Billy & Mandy

Basis of Claim: New Matter: all other cinematographic material, incl. story & some music.

Previous Registration: Pilot & some music preexisting.

Copyright Claimant: Cartoon Network LP, LLLP

Notes: Animated.

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><p>The realm of existence Mandy and Grim reappeared in was devoid of life and color. The harsh blankness of the land with its sparse patches of black lettering was enough to put the couple on edge.<p>

"Where are we, Grim?" Mandy asked in her regular drone of a voice as she squinted across the white desert.

"The copyright page. It's every fanfiction writer's worst nightmare. We should be safe from the narrator here." Grim took a few steps toward the floating, horizontal 'P' and sat on it. Mandy joined him after a second of hesitation.

"What are we supposed to do here?"

"This is just a safe place to rest before we hatch a plan to defeat the narrator," he explained.

"You have the narrator's IP address, right?" Mandy asked.

"Yeah."

"So we can trace that to her location, right?"

"In theory, yes. But I personally don't know how."

Mandy stared into her palms. "I know a guy. Only problem is he'll be hard to get in touch with. Also, I don't know if the narrator might have gotten to him. He's usually too busy to help anyone, but he owes me a favor."

"Who is this guy? Do I know him?"

"I seriously doubt it. We teamed up once in another life."

"Are you sure he'll remember you?" Mandy looked up at Grim, and he gulped, "You're right. Stupid question. So, how do we get in contact with this mystery man?"

"I'll need you to tear a hole into his universe. Can you do that based on my memories of the place?"

"It'll be much easier than trying to tear a hole into the universe the narrator is located in."

Mandy nodded, grabbed his scythe. "Alright, let's get right to it. If we spend too much time here, the narrator could come after us eventually."

They disappeared in a warp of space.


	5. Part 5 Update

**The next chapter of this has FINALLY been posted (thanks for bothering, Bob).**

**Anyway, what you need to do is read "That Puppy In the Game Shop Window", which is the Yu-Gi-Oh fanfic I have written that ties in with this story. Then You need to go to Bob the Flying Monkey's page and read her story "Not So Subtle Hints part 5", which can be found in my fav stories bin for your convenience. **

**Bada bing, you got your next two chapters.**


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